Building New Commandment Relationships
Preacher: The Rev. Andrew Van Kirk
Passage: John 13:31-35
One Sunday, years ago, at a previous church, after the opening procession and upon turning around to face the congregation, I noticed a whole row of strangers. And, as the service began, it became obvious that they were not just strangers, but strangers from a strange land – foreigners.
As we learned after the service, it was a whole row of Slovakians traveling across the US. They knew pretty decent English, as Europeans are likely to, and they were believers — but there aren’t exactly a whole lot of Anglican Churches in Slovokia.
Truth be told, I never got quite clear on how a half a dozen Slovakians ended up in a mid-sized Episcopal Church in suburban Dallas. We weren’t, anymore than St. Andrew’s is, much of a tourist attraction.
But a few days later we got an email from one of the group. It thanked us for welcoming them. And then the note said we wanted to tell you that the love and affection for one another was so noticeable at your church that it was our favorite part of our entire visit to Texas.
That was a pretty remarkable compliment.
I don’t see any row of six Slovakians today. But I hope and pray they’d say the same about us. That, at least should be the goal. As Jesus said, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
If you had a Bible in front of you, this section about “love one another” would have the heading “A New Commandment.” The actual phrase is in verse 34, “I give you a new commandment.” The Latin text of this phrase, novum mandatum, is where we get the “maundy” in Maundy Thursday, on which day this passage is always read.
In the other Johannine writings — that’s the other works by John in the scriptures: 1 John, 2 John, 3 John and… anyone…Revelation — this “love one another” thing comes up again and again. A couple of examples:
“For this is the message that you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.” (1 John 3:11)
The commandment “we have had from the beginning—that we love one another” (2 John 5)
Paul writes in Romans, “Owe no one anything, except to love one another, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.” (Romans 13:8)
Paul writes to the Colossians, “Above all else put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” (Colossians 3:14).
Paul writes to the Thessalonians, “Now concerning brotherly love you have no need for anyone to write you, because you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another.” (1 Thessalonians 4:9).
And John and Paul both wrote “All you need is love, love. Love is all you need.” But that was a different John and a different Paul. And they missed out on the particularity of the Christian witness.
Did you notice how Jesus said this was a new commandment. How could that be true? For one thing, everyone that has ever had more children than rows in their car has given this commandment: “Love each other!!”
But also, there’s Leviticus 19:18: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Jesus himself quotes this, in answering the question about the greatest commandment: The first commandment is love God. The second, love your neighbor as you love yourself.
How then could Jesus call his a new commandment? Because the new part is the next phrase: just as I have loved you. The original love commandment was love others as you love yourself. Jesus’ commandment is love others as I have loved you.
Two chapters later Jesus expands on what this means. John 15:12: “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love as no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”
The new commandment is that we love one another with a self-sacrificing love.
Let’s look a little more closely at our passage. In the gospel of John, Jesus spends so much time talking that it’s easy to lose track of what’s going on in the narrative. Where is he? To whom is he talking? Our passage began, “At the last supper, when Judas had gone out,” which helps a little. But where had Judas gone? A smoke break? A beer run? To get that ingredient for dinner that Nathaniel had forgotten at the store?
No. Judas had gone out to betray him, and as the verses before this explain, Jesus knew it. He knew this was his last meal. He knew he’d never see the sunset again. He knew that the next eighteen hours would bring extraordinary agony. And he knew that the disciples at table with him — he loved them so much. “Love each other like I love you,” he told them even though they didn’t yet understand what that meant.
When Judas leaves the room, Jesus says (verse 31), “Now the Son of Man has been glorified, and God has been glorified in him.” Judas’ betrayal brings God’s glorification. Jesus doesn’t love so we’ll love him back; Jesus loves even when we don’t. The purity of love, without hope of gain, that’s God’s most glorious trait. God’s glory is that he loves us anyway.
That’s the glory he commands for us — that we love one another that way.
Now, I neither hope nor expect that most of us will have our lives betrayed by someone in this room, or even that we’ll be called upon to die for the sake of our friends. But when we talk about how our mission at St. Andrew’s is to build relationships that lead to Christ, we very much to mean to build new commandment relationships. Relationships that are characterized by sacrificial love.
For almost five years now, Syd and Laura have hosted a Tuesday night dinner, mostly for a small group of divorced moms and their kids. Every single Tuesday night. Can you imagine? That’s an enormous sacrifice of time, to say nothing of the cost of food. That’s a new commandment sort of relationship.
Our friend and sister in Christ Ruth Thompson, and her husband Chris, are at the Byron Nelson today. They aren’t watching, they’re serving sandwiches with Hugs Cafe; they sacrificed their hard-earned retirement to start and run Hugs. That’s a new commandment sort of love.
But you don’t have to start there. You shouldn’t, probably. Both the Verinders and the Thompsons spent decades as active members and leaders in congregations — retreats, Cursillo, outreach, mission projects, bible studies. They were formed in this sort of love, much as Jesus formed the little band to whom he gave this world changing commandment.
You can start by impressing the heck out of six Slovakians in the way you relate and care for one another this morning. By the way, most visitors aren’t nearly as conspicuous as a whole row of Eastern Europeans, so you might need to be extra intentional. Don’t just put up with the crying baby, love her stressed out mama. Don’t just smile at the strange people at the end of your row as you get up to leave, shake their hand and ask their name.
St. Andrew’s is a place where people can — and do, all the time — find grace, and forgiveness, healing and hope. That takes people building relationships of sacrificial love, even if all that’s being sacrificed is a some time and emotional energy. Lord knows time and emotional bandwidth are scarce enough resources in our lives that they can be precious sacrifices indeed.
Loving one another, with a Christ-like sacrificial love, that is how the world will know we are Christ’s disciples. Those are the relationships we build that lead to Christ. Remember the words of St. Paul that you’ve heard at countless weddings, likely including your own: “If I speak in the tongues of humans and of angels but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.” That passage is not actually marriage, about how we communicate the gospel in our lives. Love before words. There’s no amount of preaching, praying, and singing we can do on Sunday that can take the place of the love we show one another.
This is our call because this is what Christ did for us. Love one another, as I have loved you. And if it doesn’t sound really hard, you’re not thinking big enough. The Church is not an organization committed to random acts of kindness. It’s a living body devoted to intentional acts of self-sacrificing love for one another. We can’t do it on our own. But Christ did; and through us, he continues to do it today. Here at St. Andrew’s, were we build new commandment relationships that lead to Christ. We love one another, as he loved us. Amen.
